How many times have I lost focus on my purpose? Too many to count.

To be honest, I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately and it’s affected every area of my life. Work, friendships, personal life, health. I lost my passion for my calling. I’ve been watching my kids deal with tough stuff and I’ve been right there with them dealing with my own tough stuff. I’ve skipped workouts. I’ve hurt a friend. I’ve acted on emotions rather than logic. I’ve basically acted like a spoiled brat. I used to think when you got to a certain age, you just had it all figured out… as if adults get some sort of certificate that gives them all the secrets to life. Then I got to adulthood and realized we’re all just taller kids still trying desperately to figure it out.

My calling is more important than my comfort.

I wasn’t put on this earth to live a comfy life and have every luxury at my fingertips. My life isn’t about finding a man to share my burdens so things are easier. It’s not about having a huge house for my kids or the nicest car. I was put on the earth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill. My calling is so much more important than any of these physical “discomforts”… and as long as I’m taking care of my children and making sure they feel loved, everything else outside of my calling is irrelevant. I am called to create. Period.

My showreel from the last year opened my eyes to the truth.

God didn’t give me talents and opportunities for me to squander them away. Eight years ago, I lived in a 2-bedroom apartment above my parents’ house with my four kids! Last year, I literally traveled the WORLD. I can’t take this lightly anymore. I can’t let myself lose focus again. There will be times of discouragement, but allowing that to seep into other areas of my life is where I’ve gone wrong in the past. This showreel from the last year brings tears to my eyes every single time I watch it. God has been SO good to me and I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve ever lost sight of my purpose even for a second. But thankfully, I know He’ll continue working on me until the day I meet Him face-to-face.

“For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.” Romans 11:29 

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6